


In a Strange Room With a New Last Name

by yellowlampshade



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Age Difference, Alpha Phil, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arranged Marriage, Dirty Talk, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Omega Dan, Omega Verse, Phan Smut, Phil is really nice, Praise Kink, Smut, Top Phil, Virgin Dan, but no abuse or rape actually happen I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:22:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7724971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowlampshade/pseuds/yellowlampshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The first thing Dan did after accepting the proposal was write to Chris.</i>
</p>
<p>Just days after turning eighteen, Dan is forced by his parents to accept a marriage proposal from an Alpha he's never met. </p>
<p><i>“Daniel? Daniel, wait, you don’t have to…” Philip was behind him, his hand on Dan’s to stop him from undressing, and he couldn’t be numb anymore. Every feeling hit him at once and suddenly he was crying and couldn’t stop. He brought his hands to his face to muffle his sobs, and this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen, it was so much better when he felt nothing because now everything hurt. He missed his room and his friends and his brother and Chris and he was so afraid of </i>this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In a Strange Room With a New Last Name

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a long time coming, but now finally it is here!!!1!! Took me freaking long enough.
> 
> Side note: I blatantly ignored most Omega Verse essentials. Like mpreg. I completely ignored mpreg. Sorry about that. I was more focused on the social dynamic of Alpha/Omega. I hope that's okay.
> 
> Side note pt 2: Although there is references to rape and abuse, I promise that this fic contains neither of them

The first thing Dan did after accepting the proposal was write to Chris.  

 

It didn’t take long for the other boy to write back saying him and PJ would come to see him as soon as they could. Dan was hoping he would say that. He would have asked him in the first place, but he didn’t want Chris to think he was panicking.

 

Chris must have left right away, because it was only a day later when there was a knock at his bedroom door. He opened it to find his friend, still in his coat and boots, his brown hair windswept and messy. 

 

“Hey,” Chris said.

 

“Hey,” Dan repeated. 

 

“Fucking hell Dan, don't you dare  _ hey  _ me, you absolute fucking twat,” Chris said, launching himself at Dan and pulling him into a crushing hug. 

 

“Oh, fuck off, Chris.” Dan said into his friend's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while before Dan finally pulled away, holding open the door to let him into the room. 

 

“So. How’re you holding up?”

 

“I'm fine.”

 

“Nah. Of course you're not. Do you need to get drunk?”

 

“That is a terribly unhealthy coping mechanism, Chris,” he said, only half kidding. Dan wondered if that was how Chris had dealt with any fear he had about meeting PJ. He figured it was likely, as his friend had always prefered losing his mind and killing brain cells to facing complicated feelings.

 

“You’re no fun.”

 

“And you’re supposed to be the consoling one here,” Dan joked and immediately regretted because shit, he just confirmed the panicking thing. Oh well, it’s not like Chris couldn’t see right through him anyways.

 

“Yeah, sorry, you’re right. I figured they’d wait longer, you know? Your parents, I mean. Before, like, auctioning you off like that,” Chris said, and yeah, he may have been a good friend, but he was pretty shitty at making people feel better. Dan sighed.

 

“Yeah. So did I. It's just, like, I guess I always assumed they gave a damn about me. But apparently they don't,” Dan said, giving up on trying to make the conversation less depressing. Chris was right, though, it was pretty shitty of them - waiting a grand total of six days after he came of age before giving him a dowry and offering to marry him to the sons of their well off friends. God, he hated them.

 

“I’m sorry,” 

 

“Thanks,” Dan said. He knew Chris meant it, that he was sorry: this was probably hard for the other boy too. Dan had been terrified before Chris’s wedding, not knowing whether he’d get to see his best friend ever again. He imagined Chris was thinking the same thing now. Hell, he was thinking it too - he had no idea what his mate would be like, whether he’d let him see friends, or even let him leave his bedroom, for that matter.

 

“Is anyone else coming?” Chris asked.

 

“Louise, Cat, and Tyler say they’ll be there for the wedding.” They had all gone to the same school, the five of them making up most of the student body. Not many people found it worthwhile to educate Omegas.

 

“When is it?”

 

“Two weeks.” 

 

“Shit. That’s really soon.” Chris said, grimacing.  _ Too soon _ , Dan thought.

 

“Yeah. Do you have to go home in between?” Dan said nonchalantly. He still wanted to downplay the panic thing. 

 

“There is no way I’m ditching you,” he promised, quickly amending to, “As long as you make me your best man, that is.” Chris was trying to lighten the mood. Chris was staying. Dan was fine. He was going to be fine. He grinned at his friend.

 

“Chris, I literally have one friend, you’re the default best man,” Dan assured.

 

“Well, in that case, I definitely need to stay,” he laughed. “What’s the guy’s name, anyway?” 

 

“Er, it’s the Lester heir. Philip, that’s it.” 

 

“D’you know anything about him?” Chris asked. Of course he didn’t know anything about him. His parents didn’t exactly factor looks and personality into their decision making. For all he knew, he could be some pedophile slash tramp slash… polar bear. 

 

“Only that he’s in his early twenties. They at least said they wouldn’t give me away to a guy twice my age.” 

 

“Ah. The old  _ we could’ve been worse so you should be grateful  _ trick. A personal favourite of mine. Mine was  _ we let you pick the gender, so clearly your outrage at literally being sold off is unjustified _ . What dicks.” Dan laughed. What dicks indeed. Maybe Chris was better at cheering him up than he thought.

 

*******

 

There were a lot of things Dan wanted to ask Chris during his stay. Things only Chris could answer, being Dan’s only mated friend. About what it was like to have a mate, what they expect you to do, whether sex hurt, and what he could do to make sure it didn’t. But he never asked him. He saw the way Chris wore a scarf to hide the purple blotches that always covered his neck, and long sleeves and pants to cover the ones on his arms and legs. They way he avoided jokes about sex, the way he limped sometimes, citing some act of clumsiness as the cause. Dan wasn’t an idiot. Chris clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t ask him.

 

*******

 

It was another couple days before he started dreaming about it.

 

Terrible dreams about a faceless man - his future mate. The man would do awful things to him, hold him down, hit him, hurt him, leaving marks like he saw on Chris. There was little comfort in waking up. The realization that it was all a dream was cancelled out by the realization that it was a plausible future for him. He never told Chris about these dreams - he didn’t want to give him another thing to worry about. At least, that was the reason he liked to tell himself. More likely he felt bad asking for his friend’s pity when Chris had gone through the same thing a year earlier all alone - Chris’s family hadn’t allowed any visitors before the wedding. Dan hadn’t even been worried, not after PJ had introduced himself at the reception and promised that he and Chris could still see each other. Hadn’t worried even after the first and second time Chris told him he tripped on the stairs or fallen out of bed. Hadn’t got suspicious until the third time, when Chris quickly pulled down his sleeve to hide a bruise and changed the subject. God, how could he be so selfish, asking for sympathy when his friend suffered through everything on his own?

 

******

 

Two days before the wedding, Chris showed up at his door with several wine bottles, three glasses, and PJ.

 

“I know what you said about healthy coping mechanisms, but frankly, I don’t give a damn, and I plan to get drunk tonight even if you won’t,” Chris announced.

 

“Can’t argue with that,” Dan said, laughing. He didn’t exactly have a high regard for PJ, but he couldn’t very well turn him away when Chris brought him, so he held the door open for them both.

 

*******

 

Dan was lightweight and didn’t take long to get quite a bit tipsy, and Chris didn’t take long to get flat out drunk. He lay passed out, sprawled across the couch, his head resting in his mate’s lap. The room was abnormally quiet as PJ ran his fingers through the sleeping boy’s hair. Dan was about to offer to put Chris in his bed when PJ spoke. 

 

“It’s not fair of him to let you worry about him.” 

 

“It isn’t?” Dan said, a wave of unease washing over him.

 

“I’m not… I'm not hurting him. Well. Not in the way you’re thinking, at least. I promise, I couldn’t do that to him.” Not in the way he was thinking? What does that even  _ mean _ ? What other way is there to hurt someone?

 

“Then how come he’s always hurt?” Dan said coldly. For some reason, PJ began to turn pink.

 

“Well, it’s… I told him he should just tell you, so you wouldn’t assume… I promise, it’s not that, it’s just…  he, he sort of,” - the blush spread to his ears - “asks for it. Literally, I mean. He wants me to do it to him.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“God, I wanted him to just talk to you himself… he likes it. Gets, you know,” - he coughed - “off on it. I figure he’s embarrassed or something and didn’t tell you, but, like, it wasn’t fair to let you come to your own conclusions.” 

 

Dan is  _ so _ not drunk enough to be having this conversation.

 

“Why should I believe you?”

 

PJ shrugged. “I can’t force you to believe me. But I love him, Dan, I really do, and I know you love him too and I just didn’t want you to… go away thinking that he’s not safe.” Dan watched Chris snuggle closer to PJ in his sleep, and  _ God _ , he hoped that this was the truth, he hoped that Chris was okay, especially if he wouldn’t see him again after this. He was silent for a moment.

 

“You can…  put him on my bed, if you want. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. I’m not tired yet, anyways.” 

The corners of PJ’s lips twitched up. “Sure. And I could help you pack a bit, if you want. I know what you’re allowed to bring.”

 

Dan smiled. “That would be great.”

 

******

 

He was tired, hungover, frightened, and not even allowed to ride in the same carriage as Chris. Instead, he sat in silence as his brother stared out the window and his mother told him about happy she was on her wedding day and how ecstatic she was for him and Lester.

 

It was all fine and dandy for his brother to ignore his mother: he was the Alpha one, the golden child who could do whatever he wanted. Dan wished things were that simple for himself. He had to feign interest and gratitude constantly, had to fake it even when being sold off to a man he didn’t even know. Dan used to find it easy to hate his younger brother, for the way his parents doted on and spoiled him, the way he was allowed out to town without an escort, the way he would be allowed to choose his own mate whenever he wanted, instead of being forced to go with the richest bidder, forced to belong to someone he couldn’t trust.

 

It wasn’t that easy anymore. He knew it wasn’t his brother’s fault he was an Alpha, just like it wasn’t his fault when he presented as Omega. He felt too guilty to hate him because of circumstance.

 

He didn’t feel the need to give his parents the same courtesy. If they were wanted him to love them, they should have figured out how to earn it.

 

********

 

Louise came to see him in the tiny guest chamber he was staying in for the night. She hugged him and cried and told him she’s sure Lester was handsome and nice and then she hugged him some more. It was nice to see her, even if he was the one calming her down instead of the other way around.  _ I’m fine,  _ he told her.  _ I really am fine _ . But then she had to go, because he was getting married tomorrow and she’ll see him then and she’s sure it’ll be great. It was only after he left that it really hit him that he might not get to see her after this. He already missed her.

 

He went to bed at the time he had been told to do so but had no false hopes of a good night’s sleep. He tossed, and turned, and then he was scared and had to light and candle and keep his eyes open, something he hadn’t done since he was young. It was the first night in a long time that he had slept without his bear, which he told himself was a stupid thing to be worried about. He had told himself this when he was packing, almost leaving it behind until the last second when the thought of doing so seemed unbearable. It was with the things that would be sent to the chambers he’d be sharing with Lester in the near future; he figured he’d keep it hidden away so his mate wouldn’t see it.

 

His eyes would close without him noticing, and his mind would go back to the nightmares and they’d fly open again, going through the pattern again, and again, and again, and again and

 

*******

 

He hadn’t got much sleep last night, he explained to the lady attempting to cover the bags under his eyes with makeup.  _ Nerves _ , she told him.  _ They get to the best of us _ . He nodded politely as she put down the powder-covered brush and started fixing his hair. Didn’t tell her, _ I’m so scared, I’m so  _ fucking _ scared, I don’t want to go with him, don’t let them make me marry him _ . But of course he didn’t say that to her. She wouldn’t have been able to help him, and even if she could, she wouldn’t care. No one seemed to care anymore. Maybe no one ever had. 

 

*******

 

Chris would be standing at the front, to the left of Lester. That would be the side everyone he knew would be on - his parents, his brother, various other relatives, the few friends that had come to see him off. Lester would be at the altar and Dan would go and stand beside him. He knew this off by heart - his parents had went over everything he’d have to do until it was a dull drone repeating in his mind. 

 

The music started and he began his actions methodically, his parents words sounding in his head.  _ Wait until the lady opens the door _ . She did.  _ Start walking. Slowly. But not too slow _ . He took the first step.  _ Chin up. Smile, but not too big. Politely _ . He tried. Oh, God, he could see him. He was thin and tall, taller than Dan, with black hair and a suit to match. He had a long nose and dimples and bright blue eyes. Striking features. He was pretty fit, in all honesty. Handsome, even. He couldn’t hate him, he told himself, not yet, not when he didn’t even know him. Oh God, he didn’t even know him and he’d have to spend the rest of his life with him. He felt his heart rate picking up and tried controlling his breathing. Step forward. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Breathe. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

 

And then he was at the altar, beside the taller man. They held their hands together as a ribbon was tied loosely around them. An older man in long clothes who stood behind them said some words, and then Lester repeated them. To protect, own, cherish for the rest of his days, etcetera, etcetera. Then he talked some more and Dan repeated the words he had already memorized. To obey, serve, and honour for the rest of his days, etcetera, etcetera. Then the ribbon was being untied, and Lester reached out his hand and touched Dan’s face. He pulled him closer and leaned in and then their lips were touching, the elder’s moving softly on his. His first kiss, the first of many firsts Lester would take away from him. He didn’t reciprocate, staying stiff against his touch. He didn’t want him to touch him. He didn’t want him to be allowed to touch him. And then it was over. The man pronounced them to be “Philip and Daniel Lester”, and everyone was standing, some ridiculous people were even crying. Lester’s arm was around his waist, hand resting on his hip, and he remembered to smile politely as he was led down the aisle and through the doors.

 

They stepped through the doorway, and then they were alone. 

 

Suddenly Lester was whispering to him, saying urgently, “I’m so sorry, you don’t need to be frightened of me, I -”

 

The door opened, cutting him off.  Lester (Dan would have to stop calling him that, seeing as he was a Lester as well now) looked away, plastering a smile on his face as everyone came by to congratulate them. Swarmed, more like - hopefully the reception would offer more time to say goodbye to his friends. He let his parents hug him and shake Lest - Philip’s hand, not paying attention to whatever they were saying. Two people he assumed were his new mother and father in-law was about the same - a quick  _ welcome to the family  _ and they were replaced by the next. He recognised his friends when they came along - an  _ I love you _ from Cat, a  _ It's so good to see you  _ from Tyler, a bear hug from Louise. He held onto Chris a second longer than the others. “I missed you,” he said.  _ I will miss you _ , he meant. And then it was onto the next person, and the next, and the next and

 

******

 

Philip’s arm stayed around his waist as they entered the dining hall. They sat at the front table, isolated in the crowded room. Everyone clapped, and then the food was brought out.

 

Dan wasn’t sure if he should eat. His stomach was already in knots. He didn’t want supper to end. He didn’t want to have to go to Philip’s bedroom with him. He didn’t want Philip to touch him. He didn’t want to have to let him touch him. He didn’t want it to hurt, didn’t want the other man to hurt him, didn’t want Philip to get angry if he cried, didn’t want any of this - 

 

He had to stop thinking like this, or he was going to be sick.

 

Dan continued pretending to eat for the rest of the course, doing the same for the next. Some people came up to hug and congratulate him again. Music played, dessert came out, Philip talked to people. He tried controlling his breathing again.

 

Chris was getting up from his table and coming over. Thank God. He wanted to see his friend so badly.

 

“Lester and, erm… Lester,” he greeted. Philip looked to Dan.

 

“This is Chris. He was, uh, my best man. Earlier.”

 

“ _ Was _ your best man? Am I not still?!” said Chris.

 

“Ah, yes, I remember,” said Philip. 

 

“Congratulations, then,” Chris said, awkwardly, and Dan took it as a signal to remove Phil from the conversation. He stood up to hug him, and it was just like the first day Chris had come - he was scared, uncertain, and just didn’t want to go. 

 

The other boy was whispering to him  _ I’m fine, I promise, I’m safe, you don’t need to worry about me _ , and Dan whispered back  _ Okay _ . And then they were coming to take the plates and Dan knew he had to let go and he didn’t want to, oh God he didn’t want to, he just wanted to go back home. Chris said  _ I have to go now _ and Dan said  _ I know _ and then he was gone.

 

******

 

Dan was numb. The people clapping as he and Philip stood up were just a ringing in his ears; he saw the arm guiding his body but didn’t feel it; his feet walked on their own down the halls and corridors, stopping when Philip did. Philip opened the door and Dan stepped through, feeling nothing.

 

It was dimly lit, with only a couple of candles. It was large, much larger than any room he had ever owned. There was a giant closet, a giant dresser, and a giant mirror over the dresser. And, of course, a giant bed, centred with the headboard against the wall. He walked towards it slowly, staring at it. He stood there as Philip began to close and lock the door. Locking his eyes on the bed, he slowly took off his jacket and let it fall to the floor. He brought his hands to the collar of his shirt and synchronised his breathing with the buttons he undid. Inhale, _one_ , exhale. Inhale, _two_ , exhale. Inhale, _three_ , -

 

“Daniel? Daniel, wait, you don’t have to…” Philip was behind him, his hand on Dan’s to stop him from undressing, and he couldn’t be numb anymore. Every feeling hit him at once and suddenly he was crying and couldn’t stop. He brought his hands to his face to muffle his sobs, and this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen, it was so much better when he felt nothing because now everything hurt. He missed his room and his friends and his brother and Chris and he was so afraid of  _ this _ . 

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sir, I just -” He cut off his own apology with a sob. 

 

“Daniel, Daniel, it’s okay, I’m not upset with you, it’s okay.” Philip moved to stand in front of Dan. He brought a hand up to the younger boy’s face to brush away a tear with his thumb but quickly dropped it when Dan flinched away. 

 

“I’m sorry, I promise I won’t hurt you, you don’t have to be scared of me. I don’t  _ want  _ you to be scared of me, I mean, Daniel. D’you prefer Daniel, or…” 

 

It took Dan a moment to realise he had been asked a question.

 

“Erm, Dan, sir.” His voice cracked. He hated crying, hated the way it made him feel so small and pathetic. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, which was stupid because it was a nice shirt and he was still crying anyways so it wasn’t like he was making a difference.

 

“Dan. You don’t have to call me that. Phil is fine.” Dan nodded quickly. He had promised he wouldn’t hurt him. Promised. He tried to control his breathing. He stopped sobbing, but couldn’t stop the steady stream of tears flowing from his eyes.

 

“I’m not… I’m not going to touch you.” Dan’s head jerked up, his hand flying up to his neck. He couldn’t help the waves of relief that Phil’s words brought him, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew the consequences of being an unmated married Omega.

 

“But… if you don’t… how will…” Dan tripped over his words, fingers tracing the place his mating mark would go.

 

“No, I just mean… Not like this. I don’t want to…” Phil trailed off, looking… frightened? “I don’t want to force myself on you.” His voice was quiet. Dan realised that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t given the option of consent. 

 

“If… you don’t… then in the morning, then, then -” Why was he so stupid, couldn’t even string together a sentence, why couldn’t he stop crying?

 

“By morning, Dan,” Phil said, softly. “We’ve got loads of time before then.” Dan nodded again, slower, this time.

 

“Yeah.” He blinked forcefully, trying to stop the tears. 

 

Phil’s eyes flickered over to the bed, which didn't escape Dan. He felt a flare of panic and dread racing through him. 

 

“D’you… d’you want to sit down?” Phil said, motioning towards the bed with his head and maybe Dan had calmed down a bit, but every part of him was rejecting the idea, not wanting to be anywhere near that bed, not with an Alpha that he had only just met, an Alpha who now owned him. 

 

Dan looked away so he’d have the confidence to nod. He refused to look at Phil as he sat gingerly at the foot of the bed. He allowed himself to pull his legs up against his body and hug them, making himself as small as he felt. Phil leaned on the pillows, propping them upright against the head of the bed. His legs took up the space beside Dan, looking slightly more comfortable with the seating, but still tense. Well, of course he was more comfortable. This was  _ his  _ bed, after all. Dan thought about that, being forced to do this in his childhood bedroom. He decided it was pretty fucked up.

 

It was quiet between them for a moment. He wondered if Phil had as much trouble talking to new people as he did. That thought gave him a sudden spike in confidence.

 

“Does it hurt?” 

 

“What, sex?”

 

That word was enough to take the confidence away from him. “Y-yeah.”

 

Phil’s expression was soft. “Have you ever… with someone else before?” He looked a bit pink. Dan shook his head. It was a stupid question, but perhaps Phil just didn’t understand how impossible that would be with how serious Omega virginity is taken. It wouldn’t be exactly uncommon for Alphas to have no concept of how Omegas are treated. 

 

He wondered if Phil had been with anyone before. It wouldn’t be unheard of.

 

“Have you ever, you know…” Phil trailed off, still pink and now unable to meet his eyes. “Like… fingeredyourselfbefore?”

 

Dan felt himself turning red as well. He knew that he shouldn’t be too embarrassed to talk about this, not when he started it, but  _ still _ . He swallowed and then nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Did that hurt?”

 

“Only a little,” he told him, which was true. It hadn’t been particularly good, either, though that was likely because of the extremely unerotic context. He had done it purely to see if it hurt, but when he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to scary thoughts about a future mate, he stopped. He hadn’t even gotten hard.

 

“It’ll feel a bit like that, I imagine. I’ll do that to you first so you’re… like, prepared, and stuff. I won’t lie to you, it will hurt a bit. But I promise I’ll… go slow, or anything I can to make it better. You can tell me to stop or whatever whenever you want. I don’t want to hurt you. But it’s supposed to feel good, not painful.”

 

Dan nodded. They were both quiet for a moment. Then,

 

“This is… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about this. You look so much… so much younger than I thought. How old are you?”

 

“Eighteen, si- Phil.” Phil’s eyes widened and he bit his lip.

 

“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry, Dan. Shit. I guess my parents were willing to tell me anything to make me agree. I’m sorry.” Phil looked a bit sick.

 

“What - what did they tell you?”

 

“I was under the impression that you were twenty one and wanted to be mated. They just… knew what I wanted to hear, I guess. Shit. Did you get a choice in this?”

 

Thinking about it made Dan’s stomach drop a bit. 

 

“Er… yes?” he answered. Phil looked confused.

 

“What does that mean?” he said. Dan stared at a spot on the bed by his foot and took his lower lip between his teeth. He used to have a bad habit of biting his lip. His parents always used to tell him off for it. Fuck them.

 

“I could’ve… said no,” Dan said, slowly. He didn’t want to look up at the man beside him. “But they said… they told me I wouldn’t be allowed to refuse the next one if I did.”

 

“The next?”

 

“A Lady Beaumont. Lived pretty far away.” Dan hated thinking about that conversation with his parents. He hated thinking about how scared he was, how he sick he felt as he agreed to accept Phil’s proposal. He hated his parents for doing all this to him. 

 

Phil raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know you liked women.” Dan didn’t meet his eyes.

 

“I… I don’t.” Dan’s voice was quiet as he spoke. Phil still looked confused.

 

“I don’t understand, if you don’t… you know, swing that way, then why would…” 

 

And then realisation dawned on his face.

 

“Oh, shit. Oh, shit, Dan, Dan, oh God.” Dan discovered that he was crying again. He knew he shouldn’t give his parents the power to make him feel this crappy, especially now that he was finally free of them. Didn’t belong to them anymore. He didn’t want to keep crying in front of his new mate - he didn’t want Phil to think he was weak.

 

“Oh God, Dan, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise - I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise how bad it was, oh Dan,” Phil reached for him, hesitantly, like he didn’t want to make anything worse. His guilt seemed genuine, and Dan found himself leaning towards him, letting his head fall against the other man’s shoulder, arms wrapping around him. It all probably should’ve been strange, but Phil just felt warm and comforting, letting Dan cry on him, holding him close and running a hand gently through the younger boy’s hair. He was being so gentle, which was a comfort in of itself.

 

Phil was first to pierce the silence. “Can- can I ask you something? I just need to know.”

 

Dan mumbled  _ yeah _ against Phil’s shoulder, so he continued.

 

“If… if I hadn’t… if I had refused, if I told my parents that I wouldn’t marry you… would this have still happened? Would you still be a Howell, or would it have just meant you were in someone else’s bedroom with a different last name?”

 

Dan turned his head upward. Phil looked… what, scared? Concerned? Sad, or guilty? A mix of all of them, likely. The Alpha would have to be a hell of an actor to fake all that at once. And why would he, anyways? What would be the point of trying to win Dan over when he could have him without all the effort? He decided that he didn't think Phil was feigning care.

 

“If you hadn’t, someone else would have. I would have only had an extra week or two, at the most.” Dan explained. _And then this wouldn’t be happening, they wouldn’t give me time like this, wouldn’t tell me not to be scared, that they didn’t want to hurt me_ , he meant. Phil let out a long breath, and Dan felt the other boy’s muscles relax a bit. 

 

“Okay. Okay.” Phil was regaining the composure he had earlier. Dan had stopped sobbing, but he didn’t feel like moving just yet. They stayed like that for a moment. Then Phil spoke.

 

“I want to know you. If - well, it’s not really an if, I guess, so  _ since _ we’re married, I’d like to know who you are.”

 

Dan pulled back a bit. “Know me how?”

 

“I just mean, like. What are you all about?”

 

Dan sat himself in front of Phil, legs crossed. “Okay.” He fixed his hair. “There’s not much to tell, though.”

 

Phil laughed. “I’m sure that’s not true. What about that guy, the one who came to see you?”

 

“Erm, Chris?”

 

“He wouldn’t happen to be Chris Ligouri, would he?” Phil asked. Dan’s eyes widened.

 

“You know PJ?” he said, excitedly, because goddamnit, if they knew each other then glory halleluja, this might not be the last time he saw his friend.

 

“Not well. Just in passing. He was your best man, yeah? How long have you been friends?”

 

“Always. We went to school together.” Oh God, please, let this conversation go where he hoped it was going.

 

“I’ve seen him and Ligouri together a couple of times, I just didn't recognize him out of context. They’ve been married a while, haven’t they?”

 

“Yeah. ‘Bout a year.”

 

“Is Ligouri - PJ, I mean - is he alright? I mean… to your friend.”

 

Dan thought back to the other night with PJ, and to just a while ago and what Chris had told him. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

 

“Dan… I don’t really know PJ, so I can’t promise you anything, but would it - would  _ you _ , I mean - be more comfortable if… if I asked them to stay here for a while, while you’re settling in?” Phil looked timid, hesitant even, like he wasn’t sure what Dan would want. 

 

Fuck yes, Dan would like that, thank you very much. 

 

“Yes, yes please, I’m sure PJ will agree,” Dan quickly assured, rapidly nodding as he spoke. 

 

Phil grinned and said, “I’ll talk to him in the morning, then.” 

 

Dan smiled in a very exasperated-relief sort of way. “Oh God, thank you, thank you so much.” Chris could stay, thank God. Thank Phil, rather. Somewhere in the back of Dan’s mind reminded him that the Alpha might expect him to  _ show _ how thankful he was. That thought was unsettling, but Phil’s beaming face alleviated his worries. He looked… sincere? Kind? Reassuring? 

 

Kind of adorable, too. And handsome.

 

“No problem. It’s the least I can do. I don’t want you to be… like, miserable here, yeah?” 

 

For some reason, this made Dan chuckle. “I can try.”

 

Phil snickered. “Your effort is appreciated.” He shifted himself to mimic Dan, crossing his legs and fixing his fringe. “Tell me more about you. Anything.”

 

Dan thought about that for a minute. What was there to tell? 

 

“I… I like theatre. And music. And dogs.”  _ Nice first impressions _ ,  _ Dan _ , he thought. Phil didn’t seem to mind, though.

 

“What kind of music?”

 

“All kinds, really. And I play piano.” Piano wasn’t an uncommon instrument for Omegas to learn. It was seen as dainty, or whatever bullshit they liked Omegas to be. Despite Dan finding it utterly unimpressive, Phil looked intrigued.

 

“Really? How long have you played?”

 

“Since I was little. My parents made me take lessons.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

_ Did _ he like it? He wasn’t exactly given an option in what studies he took, so there had been no point in having favourites. Dan thought about playing piano now, without being forced to do so. It wasn’t an unappealing thought.

 

“Yeah, I like it.”

 

“There’s a piano here, but I can’t play.”

 

“I could teach you,” Dan said, and then crap, Phil was probably just humoring his conversation and not actually interested. He quickly added, “I mean. Only, like, if you wanted.” Dan bit his lip, but Phil’s face lit up.

 

“That would be great!” Phil exclaimed.  _ God _ , he was such a dork. 

 

“Wh-what about you? What are you ‘about’?” he asked, using air quotes.

 

Phil looked up, like he was thinking. “Hmm. Well. I… I hate cheese. And I like… coffee. And lions.”

 

Dan grinned. “Mmm. Lions, yeah? Llamas are my favourite.”

 

“Nice choice. Oh, and I’m afraid of horses.” 

 

Dan snorted. “Horses?”

 

“Hey, don’t judge. I’m sure you’ve got weird fears too.” Phil said. Yeah, Dan should probably avoid going into that topic. 

 

“Nothing like  _ that _ . Seriously, why horses?”

 

“I don’t trust their legs.” Phil said defensively, but he was laughing. Dan giggled.

 

“The dark,” Dan said. 

 

“What?”

 

“I’m scared of the dark. That’s my stupid one.”  _ Why was he telling Phil this? _

 

“It’s not that stupid.”

 

Dan snorted. “Yeah, right.”

 

“No, really. I used to be too, when I was younger. What do you do at night?”

 

Dan felt himself turning pink. 

 

“I kind of… have a bear. Like, a toy bear, not, like, a real one,” he said stupidly. Ugh, now he couldn’t even look up at Phil. The one thing he was actively planning on  _ not telling  _ his mate, and here he was.

 

“Yeah? Did you bring it?”

 

Dan nodded, still looking down, still red. “It’s in with my other stuff.”

 

“I’ve got a lion. Called Lion. Very original, I know.” Phil said. Dan perked his head up.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I don’t usually sleep with it, though. He usually lives on my bedside table. I put him away before you got here.”

 

“Why?”   
  


“Dunno. Didn’t know what you’d be like, I guess.” Neither of them had. 

 

“Yeah. I hid mine too, under some stuff. I thought about not bringing him at all.”

 

“What’d you name him?” 

 

“Bear. Just like yours.” Phil smiled and laughed again. Dan thought it was like looking into the sun.

 

“See? We’ve got so much in common already. We both give massively uncreative names to things. Though I usually call things Winston.”

 

Dan laughed. “ _ Winston _ ?”

 

“Stop judging my naming skills!” 

 

Dan held his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! I’m not any better, anyways.”

 

“What’ll you do tonight? About the dark, I mean.”

 

“I hadn’t thought about it much,” Dan replied, which was technically true. He had briefly considered it, decided there was nothing he could do, so he would just have to suffer through it. Not much to think about. 

 

“I can leave a candle on, if that helps.”

 

Dan was about to refuse, say that he didn’t have to do that, but Phil looked so sincere. If he wanted to help, Dan may as well let him. 

 

“Thanks. I might be okay, though, You know. With another person.”

 

“I can’t protect you from the night horses, though.” 

 

“Well, we better make sure we’ve got all the candles to protect us in that case. Wouldn’t want them to - what, kick us?”

 

“The worst of all fates.” Phil said, gravely. They both laughed. 

 

“Hey, Phil?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome?”

 

“For this, I mean. I… thank you.”

 

“Oh. Same for me, then. Thanks.” 

 

Dan wasn’t sure what he was being thanked for, but decided not to question it. He knew where he had to go from here. He forced himself to look up at the clock on the wall. He saw Phil do the same.

 

“It’s late,” said Dan, not turning to look at the other boy.

 

“Yeah,” said Phil. Dan didn’t respond. 

 

“How’re you doing?” 

 

“I’m fine.” Dan said, still facing away.

 

“Okay. Okay, I hope that’s true. Can you look at me, Dan?” Phil asked. He placed his hand gently under Dan’s chin, guiding him to meet his eyes.

 

“There. You’re okay.” He brought his other hand tentatively to Dan’s hair. “Is this alright?” he said with a soft voice. Dan nodded.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay,” he told him, and Phil started threading his fingers through Dan’s hair. Dan allowed himself to relax into the touch.

 

“May I kiss you?”

 

Dan’s thoughts were a bit difficult to comprehend.

 

“Yeah.”

And then they were kissing. Simple as that.

Actually no, it wasn’t anything simple, because Dan went through a whole range of indescribable emotions in those couple seconds. Phil leaned closer to him and Dan could see the flecks of yellow and green in his blue eyes, could smell a scent that he couldn’t quite place but was distinctly  _ good _ all the same. He leaned himself in as well, tilting his head just slightly until he felt warm lips against his own and  _ oh _ . And Phil’s mouth was moving on his, just like it had earlier, but this time Dan was suddenly hyper aware that he had no idea what to do. He tried to copy what Phil was doing with his mouth, which was difficult because the way Phil’s fingers were running through his hair was  _ extremely  _ distracting. Oh, shit, what was he supposed to do with his hands? He hadn’t thought of any of this before, although to be fair, it would have been impossible for him to guess that his wedding night was going down this way. 

However, that train of thought halted when Phil pulled back, just enough so he could whisper to Dan, “What do you like?” 

“What?”

Phil blushed. “W-we don’t have to - it doesn’t have to be like that, if you don’t want, we can just get it over with if you’d prefer, I - I just, you know, don’t want it to be awful for you, I mean.”

“No, sorry, it’s not like that, it’s just… I don’t know. I’ve never done this before,” Dan reminded him. He could feel a blush spreading on his face to rival Phil’s. Damnit, why did he turn red so easily?

“Do… do you want to find out?”

“Okay.” Dan said in a soft voice. 

And then Phil’s mouth was back on his, but this time just in quick, gentle pecks, before trailing away from his lips, down his jaw, and then further, and oh, oh -

Dan’s breath hitched and his whole body tensed. Phil immediately stopped, moving his head back to Dan’s level.

“Not there? Sorry, I won’t do that if you don’t want,”

“No, I’m fine, it’s not that,”

“What is it, then? What’re you thinking?”

“It- it just surprised me, that’s all.” Dan stuttered.

“How so?” 

“It, it just… felt nice, I dunno,” he said, embarrassed.

Phil smiled, although come to think of it, it was really more of a smirk. “Did you like it, Dan? Like getting your neck kissed?” His voice was all low and  _ fuck _ . Dan nodded furiously. “Can I do it again? Make it feel good again?”  _ Fuuuuck _ .

“Yeah.”

And then Phil’s lips were back against his neck, placing gentle kisses down his throat that felt so damn nice. Okay, so they had found something he liked. And dear God, did he really like it. Phil’s mouth moved and sucked gently on a spot that made him feel breathless. Dan made a small sound he had never heard from himself before. He felt Phil smile against his skin as he kissed his way back up to his jaw. Phil’s hand that wasn’t tangled in the younger boy’s hair started playing with the buttons on Dan’s shirt.

“Can I take this off?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. The first few buttons were already undone, and Phil’s hand brushed against his collarbone in a way that wasn’t exactly unappealing. He kissed Dan gently as he undid the rest of the shirt. Undressing him. Oh, God, he felt so… vulnerable, or whatever. He felt his breathing pick up without his permission.

“Dan? Dan, do you need me to slow down?” 

“No, no, I’m alright, just give me a second.” 

“’Course. As long as you need.”

It’s okay, Phil wasn’t going to hurt him. He promised. Just breathe in and out. He let his head fall on Phil’s shoulder as he calmed himself down.

“I’m okay. You can keep going.” He couldn’t see Phil’s face, but he could practically hear the concern on it.

“Will you tell me if you’re not okay?”

“Promise.”

“’Kay,” he said, pressing his lips to Dan’s hair. He stayed like that as he finished undoing the last couple buttons. Dan’s chest was exposed, which shouldn’t have been a big deal, shouldn’t have felt this intimate. Phil’s hand started stroking up and down his chest, which felt oddly comforting. And then he brushed against his nipple and Dan shivered.

“Good or bad?”

“Good. Definitely good.”

Phil moved his finger over it again. Fuck, this was just a whole fucking journey of self discovery, wasn’t it. Learning all the spots that made him feel like this. Made him tremble and feel warm and make his pants feel a bit tight. 

“Still good? Wanna keep going?” Phil said. Dan noticed that his voice was thicker than it was before.

“I’m good. I… what should I do?” Dan was still leaning on Phil’s shoulder, hiding his face. It was easier to feign confidence like this. 

“Take this off, if that’s okay. And… maybe lay down for me? Only if you’re ready for that, though.”

Dan still had his trousers on, but what did he know about the order of these things? He shrugged his shirt off, willing himself to ignore the sense of nakedness it provided. They shuffled awkwardly around each other until Dan was laid out on the bed and Phil was leaning over him, his arms on either side of the younger boy.

“This alright?” he asked. Dan nodded in agreement, and Phil swung his leg so he was straddling Dan, suspended over him.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I’ve never done this before either.”

Oh. Okay. 

“Oh,” Dan said, stupidly. 

“But, I did, like, talk to people, so I do know how to not hurt you. I just don't have any… previous experience.”

“Okay,” Dan said. 

“Can I kiss you again?”

Dan responded by leaning up to meet his mouth. He let his head fall back on the bed when Phil started to kiss him back. He was copying Phil, just getting into the rhythm of things, when he felt the older boy’s lips part and his tongue started licking at Dan’s lips, asking for permission. Dan wasn't sure what the proper protocol was with tongues and kissing - wasn't it a certain kind of kissing when you put your tongue in someone else’s mouth? It all seemed pretty odd (and maybe kind of gross), but he resigned himself to the fact that Phil probably knew more about kissing than he did. He  _ had  _ said that he would stop if Dan was uncomfortable, right? Yeah, it would be fine. Dan opened his mouth and Phil slipped in. 

And then everything was suddenly more deep, more intense, just  _ more _ . Yeah, this kind of kissing was pretty nice. He reflexively brought his arms up to wrap around the other boy, resting at the hem of his shirt. It really wasn’t fair that Phil was had more clothes on than him. He tugged at it and Phil got the idea, detaching from him enough so Dan could pull it over his head. 

Now, for a bit of context. When Dan was younger, there had been few limitations of who he could spend time with. That changed after he presented as Omega. After age twelve, he was no longer homeschooled and allowed to play with whoever he wanted to, but sent off to an Omega only boarding school. The only familiar face there was Chris, who presented just a year before. It hadn’t been bad at the school - his teachers were alright, he made nice friends, and it was certainly better than being locked in his room until marriage like many Omegas are. But anyway, the result of all this was that he didn’t know many Alphas.

And he certainly hadn’t ever seen an Alpha like this before.

Phil was… a lot of things. Handsome. Fit. Cute. Hot. Dan could feel himself getting flustered. 

Phil gave him no time to oggle, immediately attaching his mouth to younger boy’s neck. He started to kiss and lick and suck, his teeth scraping just right. He moved up the side with almost frantic open mouthed kisses, up to his ear. Suddenly he was nipping, tugging on his earlobe, sucking on the spot just under it and ah, ah, that was so good, that was so  _ fucking _ good. All the composure he had previously had snapped and a desperate moan slipped from him. It seemed to snap something in the other boy as well, as Phil’s already frantic movements became a frantic roll of his hips. 

Phil froze.

“Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to rush things, ’m sorry, Dan,” 

Dan frowned and shook his head. He didn't want Phil to think he was uncomfortable already, especially not after what Phil’s movements had done to the feeling below his stomach. “No, no, it’s okay, I’m not upset. Really.” He ran his hands up the older boy’s sides. It surprised him how okay Phil made everything. “It was… kind of hot,” he admitted.

Phil let out a small groan, mouthing at Dan’s neck. “It’s your bloody noises… sounds so pretty. You’re so pretty.”

Dan laughed. “You’re disgustingly cheesy.” His giggle was cut off with a gasp as Phil pressed a kiss to his collar bone.

“Dan?”

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want, I just… what do you think about?” 

“What do you mean?”

Phil visibly lost a bit of his confidence. “Like, when… you know, like when you… touch yourself.”

Oh. 

What did he think about? That was a complicated question.

When he was younger, only just having presented as an Omega and only just starting to have… urges, or whatever, he used to have pretty good wank fantasies. He was still prone to wet dreams during that time, which was pretty awkward when sharing a dorm with Chris, but the point was that he used to think about it. Think about having an incredibly hot Alpha that he was insanely in love with, who would touch him and kiss him and fuck him. He’d think about that alone in his room, or locked in the bathroom, getting acquainted with the feelings being a horny teenager provided. 

He could remember the precise moment he stopped feeling that way about his future mate. He was 16. It was right before Christmas holidays, the only time Alphas ever came to the school. Usually it was just parents or siblings coming to pick up students, but then this Alpha woman came in and no one recognised her. Then another woman came in with her, and a boy identified her as his mum. They went to the headmistress first, and then she called him over, and it turned out that he was being given to her. Just out of the blue, he had to leave with this woman he had never met. He didn’t ever come back.

Dan talked to Chris about it. Chris said that it usually went like that, not knowing your mate beforehand. Dan remembered feeling too embarrassed to admit that he had always imagined he’d be in love with his Alpha. He remembered the moment he realised that he might not ever be in love with his mate. And that they might never be in love with him. They might not even like him, might be mean to him, might hurt him. Soon his “might”s became “probably”s, and he started to become repulsed by and terrified of the thought of his future mate.

He was still sixteen though, and still horny as fuck. He didn’t think of anything much, just focused on the sensations and tried to numb his thoughts. He blocked all the things that used to turn him on. 

“I didn’t really… think of anything. All those things scared me.”

“Oh.”

“What do you think about?”

“Oh, we don’t have to… you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I want to. I’m not… scared, right now. I’m not scared of you.” It was true. Phil made everything more comfortable. “And I'm not worrying about you or being polite or anything. I'm asking because I'm curious what you fantasize about while you wank.”

Phil laughed and placed a gentle peck on Dan’s cheek. “Okay,” he said, leaning in close to Dan's ear. “I used to imagine what you’d be like. How gorgeous you’d be…” he whispered,  a hand trailing down to brush against Dan's nipple again as he continued, “...what sounds you would make when I touched you.” He started to play with the nipple, rubbing it between his fingers. Dan gasped. 

“Where are you at?” Phil asked.

“Good. 'M good.” 

“D’you want… to, like. Keep going?”

Dan knew what he meant. And he wasn't scared of Phil, or Phil’s kisses or anything. But sex was still scary. Losing his virginity was scary. Being mated was scary. 

He knew it was late. They had to. Phil would make it comfortable, make him feel safe. 

“We can, yeah. I'm alright. What… what should I do?”

Phil moved off of him, positioning himself between Dan's legs. His hand rested at the other boys hips. 

“Can I take these off?” he asked. Shit, shit, shit. Okay. Breathe. 

“Yeah.”

The hands on his hips traveled to the buttons on his pants. Phil pressed kisses to Dan’s chest as he undid the buttons, lower, and lower, and lower, and fuck, his hand was directly above his -  _ fuck _ . Phil’s hand brushed against him at the same time as he flicked his tongue over Dan’s nipple, making him whimper. Phil looked up at him.

“Good?”

“Very,” he managed to choke out. Phil chuckled.

“Okay. Can you lift your hips up a bit for me?” he asked. Dan complied, thrusting up a bit so Phil could pull down his slacks, dragging lightly and creating friction that he had to make a conscious effort not to buck into. 

Okay, sue him. He was young and horny and Phil was hot and nice. Anyone would be semi-hard by now. 

Phil pulled them down just past his knees and Dan kicked them off the rest of the way. He felt weird with just socks on - were you supposed to take your socks off for this? If everything else came off, he guessed socks would have to as well. He kicked them off.

Dan felt a little bit cold, lying there in just his boxers. Isn’t sex supposed to warm you up? Is it the physical proximity? Or is it more like the way you heat up when you run? He hoped it wasn’t too strenuous. He’d never been very good at exercise.

As he pondered this, Phil pressed light kisses to his collarbone, making him sigh. He wondered idly if all Alphas had mouths that felt this good.

“Gonna take mine off now, okay?” Dan nodded and Phil pulled away to unbuckle his own slacks. He undid the buttons and pulled them down, down his hips, down his thighs and calfs and ankles and then they were off and  _ Christ _ . He had a bulge in his pants to match Dan’s, except his was different - he wasn’t even fully hard and was already quite a bit larger than Dan.

“How’re you feeling?”

“I-I’m… I’m alright. You can keep going.” They had to keep going. They couldn’t not keep going. His heart rate accelerated and he found himself staring at Phil’s shoulder, unable to look him in the eye. 

“You sure about that?” Phil asked. The younger boy nodded quickly. Phil brought his hand up to his hair again, running through it. “Dan… Dan, you don’t have to pretend. I won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”

Phil’s words made him relax a bit and he took in a shaky breath. “Okay. Can we… can we just kiss for a while longer?”

Phil smiled. “Of course.” He stroked Dan’s hair again, and bent down to touch their lips together again, moving slowly and deliberately. It was comforting in a way that he never thought kissing would be, and Phil’s lips were so soft and warm and just  _ nice _ . Nice in the way they stayed against his until he had to break apart, panting, and how, undeterred, the older boy just moved his attention to Dan’s neck, and this time he felt no need to keep in the little sighs and gasps the actions caused. Everything Phil did felt nice. Phil would make it feel safe and good and everything else his limited Sex-Ed told him it should be. 

“You… you can take mine off, if you want. I’m okay.” Dan said. This time, he had no urge to look away, meeting Phil’s gaze as he studied his face for signs of hesitation. 

“Okay. I’m just going to grab…” 

Phil untangled their bodies, leaving Dan feeling more exposed than before. The older boy shuffled over until he was able to reach the nightstand, opening the drawer and retrieving a little bottle that Dan recognised from the last time he had tried this. 

“Did it feel good? When you did it to yourself?”

Dan bit his lip. “Not… not exactly.”  

Phil nodded, fixing his hair and biting his lip, not quite looking at him. Self conscious, maybe? Worried? Either way, Dan quickly added, “But I don’t think I did it right.”

“How  _ did _ it feel?”

“Stung a bit, but not too bad. Mostly just felt weird, really. I don’t think I did it long enough for it to start feeling good.”

“Why not?”

“My mind refused to think of anything sexy, so I just gave up.” 

Phil chuckled and climbed back over to where he was lying on the bed. “Hopefully this time will be at least a slight improvement.”

“It’d be pretty hard to keep things unerotic this time,” Dan assured him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he responded, grinning. Dan allowed himself to be impressed with his own reassuring skills. And also significantly turned on by the way Phil’s eyes raked down his body, glancing at his hard on.

“Mmm, you’re so pretty, Dan… Can - can I touch?” 

Dan’s brain exploded with thoughts that were less words and more like the concepts of  _ Phil _ and _ touch _ . It was an incredibly hot idea.

“Fuck yes.”

Phil giggled. “You’re cute when you swear.”

Dan was about to retort to that, when all thoughts of comebacks were deleted by Phil palming him through thin fabric, replaced with  _ fuck _ and  _ Phil  _ and  _ ohmygod _ .

“Fuck, Phil,  _ ohmygod _ ,” he said, creatively. Phil’s touch clearly eliminated the barrier between brain and mouth for him. 

“Off?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” he said, in an almost embarrassingly enthusiastic tone. Phil’s hand was making him  _ so fucking hard,  _ and he wanted more. God, why did he have to be  _ such _ a teenager? He probably looked ridiculous, being this horny. However, these worries were not strong enough to stop him from arching his back slightly as Phil removed his underwear, leaving him feeling exceptionally naked.

But this time, he didn’t have to kick them off. Phil guided them all the way down, off of his ankles, tossing them onto the floor. He settled between Dan’s legs, head at just the right place to press kisses on his upper thighs. Dan moaned softly.

“So gorgeous… how are you doing?”

“Just peachy fucking keen,” Dan groaned, as Phil stopped to suck a mark on the trail he was making with his kisses. Phil giggled again.

“How’re you feeling with continuing?”

“From a timing perspective, it’d be -  _ fuck _ \-  advisable to keep going now. From a personal standpoint, I have a great interest in you continuing to -  _ ah, ah _ \- touch me… I just…” - he felt doubt creeping into his voice, seeping through his whole body - “...could you talk me through it? Or w-whatever you want, I mean…” Oh God, sex, actual sex. Dan hated himself for still being scared of it, but to be fair, it would be unreasonable for him to expect himself to completely get over it that quickly.

“Of course, yeah. Let me know how you’re doing, okay?” Dan nodded without thinking. He felt so, so  _ exposed _ , and Phil was opening up the lube and oh God, shit, shit,  _ shit _ .

“Dan? Dan, it’ll hurt if you’re all tense like this.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, trying to calm his body down a bit.

“’S okay. Just don’t want to hurt you. Can I help?”

“I just have to breathe, I’ll be okay.” Inhale. Exhale. Inhale, oh God, he was so naked, oh, God, okay, just concentrate - okay, it’s okay. He would just match his breathing with Phil’s. He closed his eyes and aligned the rise and fall of his breath with the sounds from the other boy. He felt himself loosen up a bit.

“That’s it, you’re doing so well,” Phil murmured, gently kissing his thigh again. Dan turned a bit pink.

“Am I alright?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. Are you okay with this?”

Dan nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. You can - you can…”

Well, if you can’t say it, you can’t do it.

“Like. Finger me. Shit, it sounds awful out loud.” Dan could almost feel himself flushing red. It already sounded not very sexy, and he expected to see Phil appropriately turned off by his words. But when he looked down at him, he learned that this was not the case. 

Phil’s eyes were wide, mouth slightly parted. He blinked hard and shook his head. “That is the exact opposite of awful. Shit, that’s so hot.”

He could see his blush spread from his cheeks down to his chest. “Th-thanks?”

Phil chuckled and kissed him once more. “Gonna walk you through it, yeah? I’m just gonna get some lube.” He finished uncapping the bottle and poured a generous amount of it on a his fingers. “D’you think you could put your legs over my shoulders?”

Dan said  _ yeah _ and obeyed, swinging his legs over the other boy’s shoulders, propping himself up, with his legs spread with Phil situated between them.  _ God _ , he was so hard and nervous at the same time.

Phil slowly, oh so fucking slowly, pressed a finger against his hole. Dan’s breath hitched as it circled it around his rim. 

“Okay, Dan, can you to relax for me? I’m just gonna start with one finger.” One finger up his ass. The idea was a very strange one. He didn’t really understand how being fucked was supposed to feel good. Okay, concentrate. He didn’t want it to hurt, and to do that he had to relax. He tried to focus on thoughts of Phil and how gentle he was. How hot he was. 

“Good. I’m gonna start now, okay?”

Dan nodded. The finger rubbing over his hole started pushing in. He took a sharp breath.

“You still okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. It stung a bit, like he had expected, but it was manageable. “Nothing too bad. Just, like. Weird, I guess.” He could barely look at Phil, not when he was between his legs, touching him like this. Not when he could feel his own erection hard against his stomach, although he worried it might not stay that way with a finger inside him. 

Phil nodded. “Tell me if it gets bad.”

“Promise.” 

Phil was up to his knuckle, moving his finger around a bit. He wasn’t really stretching him yet, just loosening him up a bit a bit. He continued his actions for a while - Dan couldn’t tell how long, as time seemed to slow down when there’s a finger inside of you. 

“Can I put another in?” Phil’s voice was low, lower than before. 

“Yeah.”

Phil pushed the next finger in alongside the first. He winced - okay, that hurt a little. The older boy looked like he was about to say something, but Dan beat him to it.

“It’s fine, I’m good, really,” he protested. Phil raised his eyebrows, but nodded. 

“Okay. I trust you.”

Phil gave Dan a moment to adjust to the feeling before starting to move his fingers, moving them in and out, then making scissoring motions, stretching him. It was pretty awkward, staying like that, letting out nervous breaths while he was worked open. He wondered when it was finally going to start feeling good.

And then Phil crooked his fingers, just slightly. And then -

His entire body jolted at the sudden rush of pleasure. He made a noise he was pretty sure he’d never made before - higher pitched than a moan, louder than a whimper. Dan had had no idea that finger-fucking could feel that incredible.

Phil was grinning. “Feels good?”

“Christ, fuck fuck  _ fuck _ , do that again, oh God, fuck,” he responded. His thoughts were entirely composed of  _ fuck _ and  _ more  _ and  _ Phil _ .

Phil complied, brushing his fingers against the spot again and Dan felt another burst of pleasure. His mind was just catching up to his body, which was pushing back into the feeling. It felt so different from any other time he had gotten off - Dan was suddenly certain that he had been made to feel this type of pleasure. 

Phil obeyed the gasps of  _ more _ and  _ please _ that he was unknowingly letting out, rubbing against the spot again.  _ Fuck _ , how had he never found this before? With his back arched and letting out moans of  _ ah, ah, ah, yes, yes, fuck yes _ , his hands reached for the other boy, tangling in his hair.

“God, Dan, so gorgeous…” Phil praised, pressing hard against the spot again. 

“Another, please,” Dan whimpered. He wondered if he should care about how desperate he sounded. He couldn’t bring himself to worry about it.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Phil groaned, frantically reaching his free hand down to palm himself. He closed his eyes and took a few shaky breaths. “Sorry, sorry. ’Course, whatever you want,” he said. The third finger entered beside them, but this time Dan didn’t mind the burn. Phil began thrusting them in and out slowly.

“Didn’t know it would… it would feel like this -  _ ah, Phil, just like that, fuck _ ,” 

“I didn’t realise… it would be this hot, God, Dan, you’re so beautiful…” Phil was looking up at him, almost in awe. “You never got this far before?”

“No, didn’t know it would… be this good -  _ oh, Phil _ \-  why does it feel like this now?” Dan panted out.

“It’s your prostate, you probably just didn’t touch it last time… Didn’t they teach you about it in biology?” Phil asked, seemingly surprised by Dan’s question. Of course he hadn’t known. The only thing Omegas are taught about sex is to do everything their Alpha told them. Dan tried to explain this to him.

“It’s not like we had -  _ ah, ah, ah _ \- comprehensive Sex-Ed -  _ God _ ,  _ feels so good _ ,” Dan babbled, giving up on controlling himself to instead rock his hips up into Phil’s fingers. The other boy groaned and palmed himself again.

“You have no idea how hot you look right now, Christ, Dan…” Phil looked so wanton, which gave Dan a surge in both need and confidence, resulting in -

“How much - how much do I need to stretch?” (He ignored the fact that his sudden confidence did not extend to looking at Phil as he spoke. Whatever.)

“You’re… you’re probably good with three fingers,”  Phil answered carefully, “but we can wait longer, if you want,” he quickly added.

Yeah. They could wait. Or they could not. 

It wasn’t just that had to do it soon. It was more than that. He wanted it. He wanted to have sex with Phil now, while everything felt so good and safe. 

“We don’t have to, like. Wait. Unless you want to, I mean.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I just mean, are you okay?” 

“I think I am.”

“Do you think you are, or do you know you are?”

Dan smiled at Phil’s concern. “Alright, then I  _ know _ I’m ready.” He looked down at Phil and saw a faint smile on his face as well.

“Okay. Okay,” Phil said, pulling his fingers out. Dan couldn’t help the little sound the loss pulled from him. The older boy chuckled lightly, wiping his fingers on his boxers before sitting up enough to pull them off.

Damn.

Fuck, he was so big. Dan knew Alpha’s were supposed to be bigger but  _ Jesus _ . Phil saw him gawking and smirked. He moved to hover over Dan like before, except this time settling between his legs instead of straddling them. 

“Can you put your legs around me, baby?” Phil asked. Dan wondered when he had transitioned from “Dan” to “baby”, but nonetheless complied, wrapping himself around Phil’s waist. 

“You okay?” 

As much as Phil’s worry was appreciated, Dan wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take.

“Yes. I’m okay, really truly. Just go slow.”

Phil nodded. “’Course,” he said, reaching down to adjust himself. “I’m…” he trailed off, and suddenly there was Phil’s cock nudging at his hole and  _ fuck _ was that weird and intense and real.  Dan took a deep breath, which of course triggered a look of concern from the other boy.

“You can go, it’s fine,” Dan assured him. Phil assessed his expression and apparently decided he was being truthful because he began to move, guiding himself into the younger boy.

It was a strange sensation, different from fingers in its intensity. It stung, more than it had before, and Dan felt himself wincing before he was even halfway in. Phil paused, noticing this change.

“Dan?”

“Hurts,” Dan managed to get out, feeling bizarrely embarrassed at not being able to handle it. “I’ll be okay, just give me a minute.”

“How can I help?”

Dan remembered how comforting Phil’s lips had been earlier. “Kiss me?” he asked shyly.

So Phil did, pressing his mouth against Dan’s. The soft motions of their lips combined with the hand travelling up to run through Dan's hair again accomplished the desired effect - he felt his entire body relax into the touch until he was adjusted to the stretch.

“You can keep going, I’m alright now,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s mouth. Nodding, Phil continued pressing in, stopping occasionally to check if it was okay, each paused followed by a stream of reassurances. With the help of the distraction a generous amount of kissing provided, Phil eventually bottomed out, hips flush against Dan’s.

Being full was a weird and new sensation. The slight burn prevented it from feeling good yet, but Phil was still kissing him, down his jaw and neck, which was ample diversion. Moving would feel better, he figured, the memories of fingering still fresh in his mind.

“Can… can you move?” Dan asked. “Please,” he added. Phil pulled himself out, slowly, and thrust back in, just as slow. He groaned, which made Dan realise that the older boy must have some super-self-control, ignoring his own pleasure to focus on making Dan comfortable.

Phil kept his pace steady, switching his angle ever so slightly each time he pushed in. He kept like that, head resting in the crook of Dan’s neck to concentrate on not accidentally speeding up. Dan stayed quiet as Phil moved in and out, again, and again, and again, until -

The same feeling of blissful pleasure hit him, making him moan and arch into Phil’s touch. 

“Found it?” Phil asked. Dan could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“Fuck, please, fuck me faster, oh God,  _ Phil _ ,” Dan babbled. Phil swore and reflexively slammed his hips down.

“You turn me on so much… feels so good, baby,” he groaned out as he obliged Dan’s request, quickening his thrusts. Dan moaned again - it seemed like everything Phil did affected him so strongly. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been this hard before.

“So fucking hot, Dan… so gorgeous…” Phil continued, and Dan could see his carefully built control breaking. That was fine - they were both too fucking hard for a slow fuck.

“Please - harder, fuck, _please_ ,” Dan begged, fucking _begged_ , which was pretty embarrassing. Phil didn’t seem to share this belief, though, as he immediately complied, fucking into him fast and hard. He bit his lip to hold back a moan.

“Don’t have to stay quiet… love your pretty little noises…” 

Dan released his lip, jerking upwards and moaning as Phil thrust into him sharply. 

“You feel so perfect, baby,” Phil groaned. He was talking quite a bit, not that Dan minded - his voice was unfairly attractive. “So good for me.”

Something in Dan’s brain short circuited. He was vaguely aware of himself gasping and crying out  _ fuck fuck fuck _ and bucking up to meet the other boy. He didn’t want Phil to stop talking,  Christ, he was so fucking turned on.

“Dan?”

“Fuck, you’re so good, please don’t stop talking,” he pleaded, no longer caring how desperate he sounded.

“You like it when I tell you how good you are?” 

Dan nodded desperately, making Phil chuckle and smirk.

“You’re doing so well, baby… so pretty, Dan, such a good boy,” Phil murmured into Dan’s ear, making him moan loudly. “God, I’m so close, you feel so good… ’s gonna hurt a bit when I mark you, you still okay?” Phil asked. 

“I’m so fucking okay, and so _ fucking  _ close, don’t stop,” he said, a familiar feeling twisting in his abdomen. Phil groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chased his pleasure.

“Dan, fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ Dan _ ,” Phil moaned, fucking into him again, and again, and again, kissing his neck frantically until suddenly he was coming, spilling into Dan and mouthing over that spot on his neck before biting down hard, piercing his skin. The pain rushed through Dan, making him jolt and shudder, but was overwhelmed by the intense pleasure he was still experiencing from the older boy’s thrusts and the Omega hormones running through him, filling his mind with  _ please _ and  _ fuck _ and  _ Alpha _ . He cried out as he came just seconds later, fucking himself on Phil’s cock as much as he could, gasping out a litany of  _ fuck me, fuck me, please Phil, I need it _ . They both rode out their orgasms, rolling their hips and panting as they moved together.

Eventually they slowed, Dan ceasing his movements as he began to feel overstimulated. Phil slumped down on top of him.

“Fuck,” said Dan.

“Yeah,” said Phil. 

“Wow,” said Dan. 

“Same,” said Phil. “Sorry, I’m probably crushing you.” He pulled out, wincing slightly. Dan felt strangely empty at the loss.

Phil rolled off of him, laying on his back beside Dan. They didn’t speak for a moment, just catching their breath. It was a couple moments before Phil sat up.

“I’m gonna get something to clean you up, ’kay?” he said, standing up. Dan nodded, letting himself stare at the other boy’s still naked body. Still incredibly hot. Phil picked up some old clothing item that was on top of his dresser. He came back and sat back down beside him, using the cloth to clean off the come that was splattered all over Dan’s chest.

“Thanks,” he said, still a bit breathless. 

“No problem,” he replied, smiling slightly. 

“You’re really nice, you know?” Dan found himself saying. Wow, the post-orgasmic bliss was really giving him a big confidence boost. 

Phil grinned. “I try. D’you want me to grab something for you to sleep in?”

“Mmm. Yeah. Thanks.”

Phil leaned off the bed to rummage through the pile of clothes that had been dropped to the floor. “Is just underwear fine?”

Dan nodded and made a noise of vague agreement. Phil came up with two pairs, tossing one onto the younger boy. Dan sat up slightly to put them on, the older boy standing up to do the same. 

“It’s late. You tired?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sleepy now,” he said, yawning. Phil chuckled.

“Me too. Do you mind sharing or would you be more comfortable if I crashed on the sofa?” 

Dan frowned and shook his head. “Stay with me,” he said. He meant it. He wanted Phil to lie in bed with him and hold him until he fell asleep. Dan wasn’t quite sure if this desire was the product of lingering Omega hormones, general lack of human contact, or if it was something more, but he was too tired to think about it too much.

Phil nodded and walked around the room, blowing out all the candles except for the one on the nightstand. “D’you want me to leave this one?” he asked, gesturing towards it.

“I… I don’t know. It might be okay. Whatever you want,”

“I can leave it for now and you can decide later?” Phil suggested.

“Yeah. Thanks,” Dan said. The older boy got back up on the bed, climbing under the covers and holding them up for Dan to slip under, which he did. 

It was night and Dan had a vague feeling like he was supposed to be scared, but he just wasn’t. “I’m alright. I don’t think I need it.”

“You sure?” Phil asked. Dan could practically hear the eyebrow raise.

“I’m not afraid,” he said simply, leaning forward to blow out the candle before he could lose his confidence. He laid back, eyes adjusting in time to see Phil doing the same, lying on his side facing him.

“How is it?” the older boy whispered. The dark somehow made the whole room feel quieter. 

“Uh, I think I’m alright. Could we…” Dan trailed off, mentally slapping himself for reverting back to being a stuttering idiot. And he had been doing  _ so _ well. “I mean like… could you hold me?” Fuck. He could feel himself blushing. Thank God for the dark hiding his shame.

“Yeah, ’course, let me -” Phil’s hand touched his shoulder, guiding him to roll over and face away from him. Dan was admittedly a bit confused. If he didn’t want to keep touching him he could have just said so. But then he pulled him in, moving him close until Dan’s back was pressed against his chest, curling to fit around him. He draped his arm around the younger boy, who let out a contented sigh.

“G’night, hope you can sleep,” Phil whispered.

“Yeah. ’M pretty tired. ’Night,” Dan whispered back.

The room was dark and quiet and big, but not scary. Dan closed his eyes, feeling safe and warm in ways he hadn’t ever expected to feel.

********

Dan had never had an issue with disorientation upon waking up in new places, likely due to only inhabiting two beds all his life - bedroom and dorm. However, waking up in Phil’s bed caused him to take a solid five seconds of consciousness to remember where he was, who was knocking on his door to wake him up this early, and why his ass felt so strange. 

Phil let out a small groan, letting go of him to stretch his arms out. “’Morning,” he called out, letting whoever had been sent to wake them know they had been heard. Footsteps scuttled away from the door. 

“Dan? You awake?” he asked. Dan grunted in response, making Phil giggle. “Not a morning person?”

“No, I’m up, I’m awake,” Dan mumbled, rolling over to face the other boy.

“We have to get up, we’ve gotta be dressed for breakfast,” he told him.

“Yeah, I’m up, really,” Dan repeated, sitting up. 

Phil stood up, walking towards the dresser. He pulled some clothes out of the top drawer and tossed them to Dan. “These’ll have to do until your stuff gets here. Hopefully they’ll fit, they’re the size your parents told me,” he said.

“Thanks,”

“Bathroom’s just over there, if you wanna wash up,”

Cleaning up a bit was probably a good idea. Dan got out of bed and started towards the washroom.

“Erm, Dan?”

He stopped and turned around. “Yeah?”

Phil was biting his lip and looking away, and fuck, had he done something wrong? 

“I just… we don’t have to do that again, if you don’t want - I mean, not that we can’t, I just mean that we don’t have to. I wouldn’t ever make you do that. I wish that things had been different last night - not that it was bad or anything, I just wish that we hadn’t  _ had _ to - shit, I’m not talking very well, am I?” he said, laughing nervously, his cheeks red. “I wish that our first time hadn’t been forced and everything from here on is going to be your choice. That’s all I’m struggling so much to say,” he finished.

“Okay,” Dan said stupidly. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond.

“Sorry, bit heavy for this early, I just wanted you to know,” Phil said, flashing an awkward smile. “You can get ready now, sorry for stopping you,”

“No, it’s fine, it’s… you’re pretty amazing, you know?”

  
“Just decent, but thanks. Now, s

orry to kill the moment, but we have to be out there in fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah. Got it,” Dan said, opening the bathroom door.

********************

They entered the breakfast the same way they had left supper - Phil’s arm around his waist, guiding him into the dining hall. The remaining guests - members of last night’s wedding party -  stood as they entered, both with polite smiles plastered on their faces. Dan could feel all eyes on his neck, staring at the mark there. 

The tables had been rearranged into one big table, which they sat at the head of. Dan hadn’t been looking forward to this new seating arrangement and the new rules it brought. Before, as an unmated Omega, the rule was that he was only to speak if he was spoken to. However, now that he was mated, all conversation would go through his Alpha and he was only to speak if his Alpha addressed him. 

On top of all this, the servers who brought out their food gave Dan half as much as the Alphas around him. C’mon, he wasn’t that much smaller, and he was hungry, goddamnit. Phil shot him an apologetic glance each time, which made him feel a bit better.

Phil’s parents were sitting at the other end of the table, with Dan’s parents beside them. Dan sought out Chris, trying desperately to communicate through eye contact that he was okay, unsure how well that message was received across the room. Phil must’ve seen this, because he whispered to him, “I’ll talk to them, promise,”

“Thanks,” Dan whispered back.

The food was enough to leave him only slightly hungry, and when the servers removed all the plates everyone stood up. Dan could see his parents walking over to him. 

“You talk to them and I’ll go to Ligouri,” Phil suggested.

“Sounds good,” Dan agreed, and he was off, leaving him to awkward goodbye hugs mixed with tears and  _ we’re so proud of you _ ’s. Proud of him for having sex? He tried not to dwell on how strange it was, instead trying his best to wrap things up quickly so they’d be off. They left, servants helping them carry their things out. Dan didn’t think he would miss them.

All the guests made their way out of the dining hall, offering congratulations and good luck on their way. Again, congratulations for having sex? He once again attempted to ignore it. Soon the crowd had trickled out enough for him to abandon his position as polite-farewell-giver to rejoin Phil.

“…I’ll write home and let them know we’ll be staying a bit longer, they can send some of our stuff - how long should I tell them?” PJ asked Phil. 

“Oh, erm, I don’t know. An undetermined amount of time,” Phil replied. Dan slid into the conversation.

“You’re staying?” he asked, trying downplay his excitement.

“That’s the plan,” PJ said. 

Phil looked over to him. “Er, do you and Chris want to…” he trailed off, struggling to come up with a reason for them to leave. Although the thought was appreciated, Dan wished his brainstorming was slightly faster.

PJ looked around them and deemed that no one was listening. “It’s just us, you don’t need to make up an excuse.” He turned to his mate. “D’you and Dan want to go upstairs? You can start unpacking our stuff, if you want,” he suggested.

Chris nodded and looked to Phil for permission. 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, of course,” he said. Chris grabbed Dan by his forearm, leading him out of the dining hall. They barely spoke at all as they walked through the halls and up the stairs to the room that he assumed was the temporary residence of Chris and PJ. Chris held open the door for him, quickly closing it behind them so he could jump on his friend, hugging him tightly.

“Fuck’s sake, Dan, I was fucking scared… didn’t think I’d see you again, Jesus, ’m still fucking scared, are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m okay, I’m good, everything’s good, fucking hell, it’s so good to see you,” Dan assured.

“Thanks, but I’m married,”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dan laughed. The impact of being able to see his friends again was hitting him, leaving him almost breathlessly ecstatic.

“Sorry, I’m getting off topic. What happened?”

“Excuse you, you never told me shit about your marriage,” Dan said, mildly accusatory. Chris looked offended.

“Well, sorry for not wanting to tell you all about what a kinky motherfucker I am,” he said in a comically overdramatic tone. Dan laughed and held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay. He was really nice.”

Chris waited a minute for him to continue. 

“And?” he said, gesturing for Dan to go on.

Dan snorted. “What do you want from me?”

“Oh c’mon, Dan. I’ll tell you anything you want if you tell me what happened,” he offered. Actually, that was a fairly compelling offer.

“Mmm, okay. Deal.”

Chris went to sit down on the bed. Dan started to follow him, but then stopped as a thought occurred to him.

“You guys didn’t…” he asked, gesturing towards the bed.

Chris rolled his eyes. “Funnily enough, thinking about my best friend being sold off to some pedo wasn’t really getting it up for me,” he said sarcastically.

“Okay, okay,” he said, sitting down beside his friend. He paused for a second before voicing his more pressing worry. “PJ wouldn’t - doesn’t - ever make you… make you do anything you don’t want?” he asked quietly.

“No, no, of course not, he wouldn’t ever… he’s not like that,” he said, so sincerely that Dan believed him.

“Phil promised he wouldn’t hurt me, or force me to do anything. He stopped me from stripping and told me we could wait and then we just talked for a really long time,” Dan said.

“What’d you talk about?”

“I dunno. Just stuff. He’s really nice.”

“And then?”

“We had sex.” Dan made a conscious effort not to blush. He’d already done way too much of that in the last ten hours.

“Was it okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it was. He kept stopping to make sure I was okay, and we kissed a lot. It was really fucking good, actually,”

“I’m glad that he’s exceeded expectations in bed, if nothing else,” Chris commented. Dan rolled his eyes again.

“Fuck off,” Dan told him. “It wasn’t just that, it’s… he’s really good, just in general. It’s not like I thought it would be,” he tried to explain.

“I’m glad he has exceeded all expectations, then,” Chris revised. Dan ignored him.

“Your turn. What was your wedding night like?”

Chris glared at him, but spoke anyways. “I remember being so… being so fucking scared, not knowing what he was going to be like. He brought me into his room and he started telling me how sorry he was that this had to happen, and that he wouldn’t ever make me do it again. He asked me if I wanted him to prep me or if I’d be more comfortable doing it myself, and I told him he could do it, and he was really gentle and slow. And then we fucked.”

“Nothing kinky that night?’

“Nah, we didn’t get into that for, like, another couple months, when I figured out how hot and flustered I got whenever he took control. There, is that enough detail for you?”

“Yeah, that’s satisfactory.”

There was a pause. And then,

“It wasn’t because I was embarrassed,” Chris said. 

“What?” Dan asked, confused.

“I didn’t not tell you because I was embarrassed or some shit like that. It’s not like I have a problem talking about my sex life,” he elaborated. 

Despite his relief that his suspicions about PJ had been wrong, Dan couldn’t help feeling slightly like he had been deceived. “Then why the fuck couldn’t you just tell me that PJ wasn’t hitting you? Why did you just let me assume for a year that something was wrong?”

Chris sighed. “Okay, it was pretty shitty of me. I’m sorry. It was just like - like, I couldn’t bring myself to be like,  _ Yeah, so you know how you’re going to get married to a potentially abusive Alpha and you might be miserable for the rest of your life? Well, I ask my Alpha to hit me for fun, it’s super hot _ . You know? It felt so, I dunno, insensitive or shit to tell you that I get off on something that might ruin your life.”

“Oh,” Dan said, a bit surprised. He pushed on anyways. “You could have still told me,”

“I know. And I’m sorry that I didn’t. I fucked up, okay? I thought I could hide it from you, it didn’t even occur to me until PJ told me what you thought about it.” 

Dan didn’t respond.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Only a little. I’ll get over it soon, don’t worry. I’m pretty shitty at holding grudges,” Dan assured.

“Well that’s a relief.” He fell quiet for a moment before timidly asking, “Dan?” 

Shy? That wasn’t very Chris.

“Y-yeah?” 

“I’m in love with him,” Chris confessed. He made it sound like a secret, almost as if he was ashamed of it.

“Oh,” said Dan.

“… so, uh, yeah. There’s that,” Chris added.

“Uh huh,” Dan said. He wasn’t sure how he was expected to respond to that. There was an awkward pause.

“I’m glad he has exceeded expectations, then,” Dan said.

“Literally fuck you.”

“Thanks, but I’m married.”

“I asked for this, didn’t I,”

“Yep.”

*******

By the time they found their Alphas again, all the guests were officially gone from the Lester estate. Chris pulled him aside before they entered the room, explaining in a hushed voice that PJ would likely suggest they leave to carry the rest of their things up to the room and was Dan comfortable being left alone with Phil or should he make up an excuse to stay behind? Dan barely took a second to decide that it was fine, and assured Chris of this until he was convinced that it was okay. It turned out that the prediction was right, as only minutes after rejoining the others, PJ said exactly what Chris thought he would, and they left together to collect their belongings and get settled in for their stay.

Silence.

“Uh,” Phil said, clearing his throat. “So, er. Would you like a tour?”

Phil’s awkwardness was oddly comforting.

“Er, yeah, sure. That’d be good, thanks,” he replied, matching Phil’s social incompetence. 

There was the dining room that they were already in, that would just be used when they had lots of guests. There was a smaller dining room for regular meals, but, of course, they could always take meals in their chambers if they wanted. Apparently, Phil’s “chambers” extended past his bedroom - a giant bathroom, private living space and sunlit breakfast nook all belonged just to them.

Phil showed him a library so large that Dan gasped when he saw it, which made Phil grin and promise that Dan could read as much as he wanted. He showed him the piano room - an entire room, just for the piano! - and the study, which was marginally less exciting. He showed him the kitchens and servants quarters, the den, and the entertaining room for when they had people over.

He brought him outside to the gardens, where they walked by all the pretty green plants and bright coloured flowers and Phil pointed out all his favourites. His face lit up when he talked about them, and Dan decided that excited Phil was definitely his favourite. Phil put an arm around his waist as they walked back, but it didn’t feel like it had the night before: it was warm and gentle instead of scary. He liked Phil’s touches.

Chris and PJ re-emerged for lunch, and stayed out for the rest of the day. Dan found that PJ was actually a pretty likeable guy, which Phil echoed as they got into bed later that night.

“Peej is pretty okay, I think,” he mused, taking off his shirt and unbuckling his pants.

“Er, yeah, I think so too,” Dan agreed, trying and failing not to stare.

“What does Chris think of him?” Phil asked, still turned around and oblivious to Dan’s gaze as he stripped down to his boxers. 

Dan blinked and shook his head, tearing his eyes away to remove his own clothing. 

“What’d you mean?”

“I know he isn’t terrible to him, but like. Do they get along?”

“Oh. Yeah, they’re… very happy with each other,” he explained, deliberately avoiding the L word.

“Good.”

“Chris says they’re in love,” Dan added, not really sure why he couldn’t goddamn manage to keep anything from Phil.

“Oh,” Phil said, surprised.

“That’s what _ I  _ said!”

“I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength, then,” Phil said, turning around so Dan could see that he was smiling. “Tired?”

“Yeah.”

“Same,” Phil said, yawning and climbing into the bed.

“Oh, uh, light on or off?” Phil asked. Dan responded by blowing out the candle, which made Phil chuckle. “Feeling brave?”

“Maybe,” Dan answered, rolling close to his husband (which was still a weird word to think of Phil as) so he could fall into his arms just like the night before. They fit together rather nicely, in Dan’s opinion, with their bodies curled around each other. Phil kissed the top of his head.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’ll love each other someday?”

Dan grinned even though Phil couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I thought so too, just thought I’d check,”

“Make sure we’re on the same wavelength, yeah?” Dan teased, making Phil laugh. 

“Yeah, something like that.”

“I’d also not be opposed to having sex with you again,” Dan added.

“Same here. Just not right now, as I’m pretty exhausted,” Phil agreed. 

“Mmm, yeah. ’Night.”

“’Night.”

  
Dan closed his eyes without even considering the darkness, drifting off to dreams of warmth and brightness and Phil.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been in the works for months, and it's kind of my baby. Before I started writing this fic, the concept switched fandoms/pairings about four times before I finally settled on Phan. If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading something that I worked really hard on and am actually kind of proud of.
> 
> Also I will probably write some timestamps for this, as I really liked writing it :) 
> 
> My tumblr is [yellow-lampshade](http://yellow-lampshade.tumblr.com/) if you wanna check me out (cheeky promo)


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